Why have you turned against me? For 35 (soon to be 36) years I have taken decent care of you. I don't smoke or drink heavily. I give you fresh air and sunshine while protecting you from the harshest rays. I typically avoid fatty, greasy foods and occasionally even eat a plate full of spinach salad. I nurture, clean, perfume, clothe, and care for you. And I got you a good man. Don't even get me started on what he does for you. Yet you betray me. Why?
An occasional virus is one thing but this has gotten out of hand. You let down your guard in January and that stupid virus took its toll on me. Then the coughing, and the coughing, and the coughing. Then strep; then a revisit from my ovarian cyst; and most recently a possible bout with my gall bladder. Did I mention the coughing? Seriously!? I thought you were my friend.
You've lost your stamina. You've lost your ability to endure stress. You've lost your quick recovery time. And what have you gained? Girth, my dear. Nothing but girth. Darn you.
What must I do to get you back on my side? What do you want from me? A nutritious, well-balanced diet? Regular exercise? sigh...you ask a lot. I suppose I'm willing to try. But just between me and you, I better see some evidence that it's working and quickly or all bets are off, sister!