Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Bullies

"Nobody likes you because you're adopted!" Ouch. Or how about a slap in the face? Which do suppose is more painful? You could ask my kids. They have been the recipients of both in the past few days. It seems we have a bully in our midst. A young lady (or not so much) has decided to terrorize our crew. It's a bit surprising since just days ago she was among several girls enjoying Mamoune's company and baby dolls. My how fickle we females can be.


Nathan was the first to face off with her. He came away with two slaps to the face. Can you see this Mama Bear's blood boiling? Then the next day she set her sights on Isaiah. She started stealing his toys away and laughing. He stood up for himself -yeah! She smacked him -boo! Then Mamoune came to his defense and the girl's fury was transferred to her. Yep. She got smacked, too. Right in the face. Then came the verbal torment regarding adoption. Oh yeah, I was sufficiently steamed. I wanted nothing more than to march out there and stomp this child into the ground. But something tells me that having been taunted for being different, my kids might not benefit the most by their "different" mom storming in like some kinda red-headed Godzilla, devouring the village children. I did, however, consider arming them with an arsenal of slightly overripe avocados and turning them loose. ;-)


Here's the deal... the slapping thing is just mean. And we are still working on the best solution for that problem. But the adoption comments -those are just rooted in ignorance. I asked the kids if hearing that made them wish they were not adopted. Mamoune openly admitted that it did. I asked her what she had done to cause this girl to be hateful? Nothing. So my next question was "do you think if you weren't adopted this girl would suddenly be your best friend or would she still be mean just for the sake of being mean?" They all agreed that she was just mean for the fun of it and it really has little to do with them. As I said, we are still working through our plan for handling these situations in the future but at least we know the kids are seeing it for what it is. And above all, we are encouraging them to "love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you." A lesson that is sure to be repeated many times over in their less than normal lives.

Addendum: While retrieving a soccer ball later in the evening, Tim was able to talk to the group of girls (bully included). He asks them if they knew what adoption was. He wasn't surprised to find that no one did. So, he explained it to them and told them very condensed versions of our kids stories. There were several "that's cool" comments and hopefully understanding will be the key to ending the nonsense. Red-headed Godzilla's husband is much smarter and calmer than her. =)

2 comments:

Troy & Tara Livesay said...

I would lace her twinkie with something to make her tummy hurt for a few days. But that's just me.

ARGH. I'd rather be in Haiti. What you're doing is harder.

Stepping Out of the Boat said...

Wow...reading that made my heart hurt for your precious kids! Very admirable that you didn't go show her who was boss!

I agree with lacing her twinkie...cuz that would be the good Christian thing to do. :)

Bless your Mama Bear heart for enduring this along side your kids...it hurts mom's heart just as much as theirs, if not more.