Saturday, May 19, 2007

Thank you cards...

I despise them. I'm sure that somewhere in their origin and even occasionally today they were/are true heartfelt sentiments of gratitude. But for the most part, I believe they have become akin to the obligatory form letter you might receive after submitting a college application:

"Thank you for your interest in attending Harvard University. Unfortunately all applicants are required to have a brain. It is apparent to us that you do not meet this qualification otherwise you would not have bothered to apply in the first place."

Or perhaps the letter you might receive from a perspective job interview:

"We appreciate your consideration for a position within our company. We take great pride in staffing our facility with highly skilled individuals. You are not one. Have a great day."

When Tim and I got married (almost 13 years ago) we had great intentions. Yes, we all know what they say about that. And thus, we never sent out thank you cards. To all those who may be reading this post even now having been victim to our neglect, let me offer you a sincere "THANK YOU". And be encouraged knowing that at long last I have begun thinking ahead.

I am starting now on a collection of cards to be mailed out shortly after my death to those who I presume will be in attendance at my funeral. Final thoughts from the dearly departed. With the help of my good and almost equally demented friends Heather and Shelby, here's what we've come up with so far... (imagine simple, blank cards stamped with these tender notions)

"Wish you were here!"
"See you soon"
"I can see you naked."

And my favorite so far: "Sorry you won't be joining me."

Move over Hallmark. Make way for a new theme in greeting cards. I call them "FUNerals". Oh yeah, we are gonna make millions with these and finally be able to move out of the barn! Ready to place an order? How many boxes do you want? Visa and MasterCard accepted. =)