The Five Second Rule

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"The five-second rule is a popular urban legend, and common rule among many people today, regarding the eating of food that has been dropped on the ground. The origins of the tale are unknown. It claims that if food falls on the ground, it may be safely eaten as long as it is picked up within 5 seconds.
There are many local variations on the rule. In many areas the time limit is modified so that it is known variously as the three-second rule, seven-second rule, eight-second rule, or ten-second rule. In some variations, the person picking up the food arbitrarily extends the time limit based on the actual amount of time required to retrieve the food."

Like many of you, we have our own family variation of this rule. It goes something like this: If you can reconstitute it with your own saliva -have at it. Come on, freeze dried -- floor dried? Is there really that big a difference? (For those of you speed dialing social services...it's a joke! Please, put the phone down.)

But let's ponder this for a moment, shall we? Why? Because I have nothing else to blog about that's why. Work with me, people.

Why is it that only certain foods are given the benefit of this rule? Cookies, candy, gum...the fun foods. They are just naturally ushered under the protective umbrella of retrievable, rule-worthy foods. But what of the sad green bean? The lowly brussel sprout? The lima? (I realize many people don't eat these even when they aren't on the ground but that's not the point.) Are they not worthy of redemption? Have they no value in our eyes? Am I truly this desperate for blog material?! ugh.

Okay, in an effort to salvage the senseless ramblings of someone who probably just needs to sweep her floor instead of pondering the depths of discarded food, I will say this: I think that there are times that I must look to God like a steamed squash that's been dropped on, kicked across, and smushed into the carpet of Golden Corral. eeeewwww. I'm glad He is willing to scoop me up and knock the dirt off.

End of silliness. Have a great day!