Saturday, December 6, 2008

Are you kidding me?

Friday was a day of "are you kidding me?" moments. Allow me to demonstrate exactly why.

I went to WalMart to do my grocery shopping. That's an experience in and of itself week after week but usually it's neither here nor there. I caught up with a friend from our old neighborhood in the shampoo aisle and then met a woman with a daughter adopted from China and talked at length about our common struggles with older child adoptions in the baking goods aisle. Both were the kind of encouraging conversations that help remind you you're not alone in this world. Then, I went to check out. And here we begin the real story.

I consider myself to be congenial. Purposefully friendly. Normally, this trait is reciprocated. But. Not. Always. I separated my purchases with a small space so that the items which were Christmas related would end up in one bag together and could be easily hidden from the children. As the cashier began scanning my products, I stepped forward to explain why I had formed the gap. I didn't want her to think that I was paying for the items apart from the rest of the groceries. I couldn't get the sentence completed when she interrupted with...

"yeah, fine. I got it. They're all in there."

"Okay, thanks. That just makes it easier for me to keep the kids from..."

"Uh-huh. They're in one bag. Right there. It's fine."

"Uh, ooookaaaay." Are you kidding me?

She seemed completely put off by my very existence. I struggled inwardly with nasty thoughts and feelings toward her. Then decided not to let her get the better of me and to give her the benefit of the doubt instead. I began loading the full bags back into my cart but paused first.

"So, how are you doing today?" (Yes, I think technically this should have been her line but whatever.)

With no eye contact nor inflection, she responded. "Just fine. How are you?"

Are you kidding me? "I'm great. Thanks."

We each continued our duties in silence. She, feverishly scanning and I unloading and reloading my items. As the last bags were being placed in the cart and I awaited my receipt, the gentlemen behind me points to a soda bottle at the front of his stack and says to her, "Ring this up first, will ya?" Well, I found myself subconsciously taking a step back and thinking whoa, he's a dead man.

Smiling she says, "No problem. I know sometimes you just got have that drink before you even get out of the store." Hahaha they both chuckled.

Are you kidding me? Astonished, I took my receipt and headed to the van. It was while packing in the bags I noticed that she had put my grapes and four bananas in the bottom of a bag and then topped them with two heads of broccoli and a cauliflower. Are you kidding me?!

I know everyone has a bad day now and then so, I'm willing to forgive and...well...vent about it to you guys before actually forgetting.

Oh, and just when I thought my day of "heh?" was coming to a close. I walk into the living room to find that Bella has pooped in her diaper and proceeded to paint the end table and the front of her shirt with her own excrement. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Saturday was much better...hopefully more on that soon.


Lisa said...

jeepers. well, what did ya learn? i'm sure you're going to tell us. Right? Right?

i'll wait right here. kay?

The Sexton Crew said...

hmmmm...I guess I learned three important things.
1. Customer service is dead.
2. My father-in-laws motto of "expect them to treat you like dirt and you'll never be disappointed" may be true.
3. A man with a play station remote control in his hand can not and should not be trusted to supervise small children.

#3 is clearly the most important. ;-)

Matt Tennison said...

Maybe enough to make you consider buying a bunch of the chalkboard paint for your walls and having an AMPLE supply of chalk around, eh?

The Sexton Crew said...

Matt -I have one of those chalkboard walls and the chalk to boot. shrug.

Apparently, she was ready to experiment with new mediums. I'd give her playdough but she'll eat it and you know what that will lead to... colorful poop. I'm thinking it will only exacerbate the problem.

It may all come down to four dreaded words:

time to potty train. sigh.

Anonymous said...

I happen to believe that the little "Jeepers. well, what did ya learn?" Comment from Lisa was a PLANT! That allowed you to respond with lesson #3, which you clearly wanted to put in the original post. Who is Lisa, and how much was she paid?