Sunday, April 20, 2008

What a Feeling

Yesterday was our "Vibrant" Women' s Conference. You know, the speaking thing I've been pooping, er, I mean, preparing for the past couple of months.

It was really amazing. It's so cool to see how God uses ladies from completely different backgrounds, completely different experiences, and completely different personalities to bring glory to Himself. Amid all the variations, Jesus Christ was the unifying factor.

I hesitated to post about it here because I don't want it to appear to be a lame attempt at fishing for compliments. People are incredibly gracious and the affirmation is wonderful in so much as it shows how faithful God is to equip us for what He asks us to do. But it's really not necessary. The truth is, without God taking control of the situation, as I clearly felt Him doing, I would've hit the stage, burst into tears, and then run for the bathroom. Grace and grace alone prevented such a freak show.

On the other hand, if you were there and you hated it, feel free to comment. I'd be happy to see what I need to work on in the event of future opportunities.

Some have asked how the passage (Mark 5) and story (the woman with the issue of blood) directly relates to my life. There are some very specific circumstances that I considered sharing in the conference but through the Holy Spirit, wise leadership, and Godly counsel decided to save it for another time. I didn't want anything to compete with who Jesus is in this amazing story. And I still don't.

But in general terms the part of this woman's story that captures me again and again is the call of Jesus to just get real. To trust Him with my whole story -even the less than the ideal pastor's wife moments. To own it all and give it back to Him.

I think sometimes we stifle God's ability to comfort us like our true Abba- Daddy because we work so hard to be self-soothers. We learn the pat answers, memorize the appropriate scriptures, and walk around quoting our hyper-spiritual anecdotes while we are raging with hurts, fears, and anger on the inside. And in the mean time, Jesus is standing there saying, "who touched me?" Or better yet, "Why did you tug on My robe if you've got it all figured out?"

But truth is truth, right Amie? Yes. And praise God it is unchanging. But the truth is meant to bring freedom. And I am thankful that God saw fit to share this woman's story with us; to show us that we can come out of hiding and bring all of our baggage to His feet, rest our chins in His hands, and then go in peace.

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