Time Warp

(song title chosen for my Aunt Pam and her Rocky Horror Picture Show days. =))

For those of you who aren't familiar with the Rocky Horror Picture Show (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) maybe you are familiar with another time warp known as WalMart. It's seems like no matter what I do I can't just get in and get out of that place. And yesterday was no exception. I arrived at approximately 11:15 am. I pulled out of the parking lot at 2:15 pm. THREE HOURS! ugh. No, I wasn't fighting or dragging along four children. I was all alone. Please believe me when I tell you that if given the opportunity to actually enjoy three hours of alone time I would never consciously choose to squander it away with the other four billion people at WalMart.

The first forty-five minutes weren't so bad. But another thirty minutes, hour, hour and a half later and I started feeling trapped. It was like one of those dreams where someone/something really scary is after you but your feet feel like lead weights and you can't run no matter how hard you try. My brain was racing on high speed and I knew my legs were moving, but I didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Then after finally getting everything unloaded and rung up I realized that the scary creature wasn't chasing me, it had been waiting for me at the cash register. "Your total comes to _____." AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

With great fear and trepidation, I slayed the beast using my handy debit card. Then the computer has the nerve to ask if I want "cash back." Does this monster really think there's anything left in the account? Or is he just mocking me from the grave? "NO." I hit the enter button with a quick jab -a last little poke to be sure he was dead. Then I collect my scroll, er, receipt and finally make my way out to the parking lot. I am weary, worn, and walk slightly slumped over my cart but I rise from the ashes a victor! My Christmas shopping is done!!!!

"I am the champion, my friend..."

(two songs in one post -consider it a freebie =0))