This is the day (this is the day)
That the Lord has made (that the Lord has made)
We will rejoice (we will rejoice)
And be glad in it (and be glad in it)...
How old were you when you learned that song? I would guess that I was in elementary school the first time I heard it. But God strongly impressed upon me this morning that I need to relearn it. The verse more than the song but you get what I'm saying.
My day didn't start quite the way I wanted it to. I didn't sleep that great during the night. I think my system was recalibrating itself after the prune fiasco. Then finally this morning after Tim got up and I could stretch across both sides of the bed, I was totally in the honk-shoo zone (but not actually snoring like some people). It was the best sleep of the night hands down when suddenly a dark shadow crossed my eyes and I popped up with a start to find Nathan (aka the stealth bomber) standing over me.
"Don't do that, Nathan!" I whisper shouted.
"But you were awake" he responds.
Really? Exactly which part of my rapid eye movement-mouth agape-draw a
chalk line around me position indicated consciousness to you?!
(through clenched teeth) "Get back in your bed and stay there until someone opens your door."
With fight or flight adrenaline pumping through me, going back to sleep was not happening. I was annoyed. Tim left for work shortly after and I got up and headed to the living room. I sat on the sofa and asked God for help. Wisdom for the day, patience with the kids, energy to do the chores and home school, and that's when it hit me. Hard. What I needed more than any of those things was enthusiasm. I needed to be excited about a new day. And truly, truly I tell you that I CANNOT remember the last time I woke up with enthusiasm about the day ahead. Dread, worry, anxiety, fatigue, apathy, distractions -those are all familiar but "rejoicing?"--uh uh.
It makes me sad and disappointed with myself. Jesus said he wanted me to have life more abundantly but too, too often I find my attitude is survival. Forget growth, forget challenge, forget blessing. Lord, just help me get through this day. I know that there are hardships and tragedies and days that "getting through" really is the best you can do. But everyday? Clearly that's not what He had in mind. So, anyone out there need to join me back in elementary school? Class is now in session and our verse for the week (or as long as it takes to get it through my thick skull) is "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24