Thursday, January 31, 2008

Doctor, Doctor

I had to take Bella to the doctor this past Saturday and then again on Tuesday for a follow up. She's been snotty and had a little cough but woke up Saturday morning with a serious wheeze and some asthma type breathing. The experience at the doctor's office was noteworthy.

We saw a new doctor and for our purposes we'll just call him Dr. Theraflu. He seemed very young and I got the impression that he graduated from med-school about 30 minutes before our appointment. But let me go back to the very beginning.

It's too crazy to explain but due to Bella's adoption not quite being finalized her name according to her insurance paperwork is "Judi." Most of the ladies in the office know us well and know well enough to call her Bella; but the nurses and doctors are not so in the loop. They're busy and probably could care less. I think they should care. I struggle in vain as you will see.

We started Saturday's appointment with me and the check in nurse staring blankly around the room waiting for "Judi" to appear. oh shoot. That's us. I grabbed our stuff and headed back. (For any grandparents who accidentally read this post -she weighed 20 lbs even.) We did the check in routine -you know, how you tell the nurse everything that's going on so that you are practiced to repeat the exact same information to the doctor in 30 seconds. What are those charts for anyway?

Enter Dr. Theraflu. "Hello Judi." ok, yeah. Not really her name. She's adopted, yada, yada. Her name is Bella. Given that most doctors run you through with a cattle prod, the good thing about Dr. Theraflu was that he thoroughly explained everything he did. The bad thing about Dr. Theraflu was that he thoroughly explained everything he did. But the most annoying thing was when he asked me questions about her current and past health history. He would read the note as he typed it into the computer and the exchange went something like this:

Dr. Theraflu: How's her appetitie, energy level...?

Amie: Good. She's eating well, playful, happy.

Dr. Theraflu: So, I'm going to note that 'per adoptive mom' -she has been playful and has a normal appetite.

Insert Amie with an oooooh-kaaaay expression on her face.

Dr. Theraflu: Do you know if there's a family history of respiratory problems?

Amie: Nope. Don't know.

Dr. Theraflu: Okay, so I'll just put 'per adoptive mom' (insert sideways glance from Amie) -unknown family health history. What about her first year of life, she's been relatively healthy?

Amie: Yeah. An ear infection and a couple of colds but basically healthy.

Dr. Theraflu: So, 'per adoptive mom'...

It doesn't really matter what came after that because I was too distracted by thoughts of taking that stethoscope from around his neck and reintroducing it in a new location. Luckily, that was his last "adoptive mom" reference and everyone exited the room with medical equipment in tact. Now, we just had to follow up with Dr. Theraflu on Tuesday. Joy.

Tuesday morning "Judi" and I made our way to the nurses station. The nurse looked at her and oddly enough said "you know, she doesn't really look like a Judi to me." Because she was so sincere and had a sweet face I fought off the urge to conjur up tears and say "really? Because I named her after my favorite aunt who died last year in a rare elephant stampede. (sobbing gasp)." I'll save that for next time. ;-)

I explained the name situation and I think she cared. I liked her. Then came Dr. Theraflu. Sitting down to listen to her chest he said, "Hey, Judi, Judi, Judi!" Deep, slow breaths. Those were for me not Bella.

Here's the question that begs an answer --- With all the notes he took two days earlier where the heck is the one that reads"PER ADOPTIVE MOM -Her name ain't Judi!!!"?

Per Mom -Bella is fine now. :-)


The Millenders said...

Enjoyed the story and your telling of it. A cute picture of Judi would have topped this post perfectly! ;-)

The Sexton Crew said...

Sorry, but Judi lives a very private life -not big on the paparazzi.

per "Birth Mom", Lisa Shay said...

oh MY word! That's out of control. I'm very impressed with your outward self-control. I wonder if I could've contained my inward control from popping outward on Dr. Theraflu.

You're a terrific story teller Aimee.

Leo said...

Oh man. People are so strange. I couldn't help but laugh. People who find out that I'm adopted will inevitably ask me who I call mom, even after a very thorough explanation of my personal family politics. You'd think that the term "adoptive mom" was as common as "mom", "step-mom," or "grandma!"

T&T Livesay said...

Amie ... you needed to open up a can of whoop &*$ on that guy.

Per friend

Anonymous said...

Maybe he meant to keep saying "per attractive mom".
Lisa S.
(from MN, you know, who never comments. Well, just in her head.)

The Sexton Crew said...


Comments based on your greatly appreciated and like-minded gift of sarcasm are too good to waste inside your own head.


LISA SHAY said...

Hey...don't know who "Anonymous" was in that previous comment that referenced "Lisa S." NOT ME. I always leave my name...hum.

Trust me, if i have a sarcastic response, rarely will it stay within. Just ask Shawn. sigh...