Thursday, February 21, 2008

Somebody's Watching Me

I want to begin this post by stating in no uncertain terms that I undeniably, irrefutably, unequivocally, and wholeheartedly LOVE my children! I really do. That might not always come across in the blogosphere but that isn't because it's untrue -only because I am not a very sappy, mushy mom and I enjoy writing about the goofy, insane things they do versus the sweet, tender moments. You'll get a few of those but clearly not a majority.

I'm fairly convinced that if they had blogs of their own, I woud have a huge target on my back and you would hear plenty about my idiosyncrasies and annoying habits. Fortunately, they don't have blogs. I do. And so, having assured you of my genuine affection for them, I will now continue to jank on the little tyrants. =)

Do you all remember the title song? Particularly this line...

"When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair
I might open my eyes and find someone standing there."

Welcome to my world. I took a shower yesterday. I try to accomplish this every 2-3 days on a good week. You might think that taking a shower would yeild a precious few minutes of seclusion and privacy. Think again. In 20 minutes of shower time, my children came into the bathroom not once, not twice, but FIVE times! For the mathematically challenged: that's one interruption every FOUR STINKIN' minutes. Of course, they were needing help with life and death circumstances like -Can I have my FunDip from the fridge? followed by Why does Nathan get candy if we don't? followed by Nathan gave Mamoune candy and I don't have anything! followed by, you get the picture.!! Get out and stay out!

I don't think they realize the danger these episodes put them in. Not physical danger so much but emotional. I had already decided that the next kid who walked through the bathroom door would be forever traumatized because I was going to come out of that shower in a naked rage and flush the toilet on their head. You can choose for yourself which of those things would require years of therapy to overcome. :o) Lucky for them, the fevered pitch of my final threat must of have been enough. The last two minutes of my shower were peaceful.

Interjection: Mamoune just came to me and announced that she is here to audition for American Idol. (She loves this game! Even more than Opposite Day.) She has two church stickers on her stomach and introduced herself as Mamoune Isaiah Sexton Sexton. Not sure how that will all fit on her debut CD. I played along (because I am fun) and said, "what are you going to sing for me today?" She decided on an original song. I wish I had a recording but here was the gist of the lyric:

When I am sweet it makes you smile.

But when I am bad and cruel it makes you have wrinkles on your forehead.

AHA! You thought I was exagerating about that Mommy scowl but even the kids recognize it. Mamoune is the first and only so far to take full responsibility for it. With such an astute observation, I naturally put her through to Hollywood. (insert jumping and high-pitched girl screams here.)


The Millenders said...

Serves you right - 20 minute shower - we are in a drought! They were probably just concerned about our current water shortage!

The Sexton Crew said...

puh-leeze! 20 minute shower every THREE days!?? Plus, it would have been less than that if I didn't have to stop every four minutes and yell at someone. And you already know I only bathe my kids twice a week.

I should be getting a "thank you" note from Wake County. So there! Smarty pants.