Monday, February 11, 2008

Surfing with the Alien

yep. The little green goblin who wreaks havoc on my intestines during school is alive and well. I know that none of you were buying the idea that a mattress could change a person's character. It was a pipe dream. But I still think this was the best money we've ever spent. I am a beast of a homeschool teacher. I am impatient and crabby. I have alien lifeforms swimming in my bowels determined to eat my children alive. But I am so doggone well rested. My back feels great. My shoulders don't hurt and my hips are not aching. Why did we wait so long? Oh, that's right. We're cheap.

Now, the only sleep issue which remains is the problem of my brain kicking on the second I lay my head on the pillow. I think I've become a night owl. I spent 30 minutes or so working through parts of an upcoming Bible study before an abrupt shift to absolute stupidness. Allow me to take you on a ride through my thought pattern last night. Warning: keep arms and hands inside the car at all times.

"I need to write the last of the stories for my fairy tale trilogy. Maybe tomorrow. hmmm. I wonder what the Little Mermaid would've done if it turned out that Prince Eric was allergic to shellfish. Wait. She's a mermaid, not a crab. Are mermaids mammals? I bet Tim would know...I...probably shouldn't wake him up to ask that. yeah. Mermaids are mammals. I wonder how they find the right shells for their bras. Maybe they have an underwater Victoria's Secret. oh, a Victoria's SEAcret. That's funny. huh. How long was Sleeping Beauty asleep? Like a hundred years or something. Dude, she would've had some serious morning breath. Rapunzel never cut her hair. Did she shave her legs? This is crazy. I need to sleep."

What a waste of brain power. I won't try to explain it or excuse it. If you've read more than three posts on this blog, you have already proven yourself to be an understanding and forgiving person so, I trust you'll continue to overlook and not report me to the boys in the white coats. =)

Happy Monday everyone!


The Millenders said...

UR Stinkin' NUTS!!! But since you had the good sense not to wake up your peacefully sleeping husband to get the KPCLFGS of a mermaid, you are still alive AND married! We love you even if you are crazy!

The Sexton Crew said...

What the heck is "kpclfgs"? Is that some kind of license plate lingo that I'm not getting?


Kris said...

Hehe....Ames, you make me giggle. Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species.....I have NO idea where the "L" came from. That's not in us Northerners' textbooks, no ma'am.

nancy said...

Yeah, inquiring minds want to know what KPCLFGS stands for.
Amie, didn't you know that in books and movies there's a certain chemical floating in the air that removes all bed head, morning breath, B.O and things of that nature. Wish they could bottle it and sell it. Sure would be nice around here.

The Millenders said...

sorry, it should be KPCOFGS. No, not a license plate. Think about it when you go to bed tonight!

Also, you may have wasted a bunch of money. What if it was just new PILLOWS you needed and you blew all that dough on a mattress?

The Sexton Crew said...

Thank you Kris. I NEVER would've gotten that. Don't remember learning it. Haven't taught it. Clearly, I am in over my head with you scholars.

Pillows, not an issue. Springs grinding into hip bones. Huge issue. So there. Mr. Waterbed.


Lisa said...

ROFLOL!! (you DO know what this is, right?) U're a silly, silly girl. But that's what's so appealing about you my dear.

The Sexton Crew said...

That one I know. It's the ones pertaining to my kids education that I'm clueless on. They'll be great bloggers some day. You'll see their work on


Troy & Tara Livesay Family said...

You dun lost yer mind wo - man.

now git to sleep