An Interview with a Smudgester

Recently a representative from "DogGoneIt" magazine sat down with Smudge Sexton to get his perspective on current events in the Sexton household. Here's the inside scoop from reporter, Callie Collie:

CC: First, let me say 'thanks' for the interview.
Smudge: No problem.

CC: Let's start with the basics. What breed are you exactly? You're not that large but I sense some big dog qualities about you.
Smudge: (laughing) Are you getting fresh with me, Callie? (more laughing) No, seriously, I'm just a medium sized guy. A little Beagle, a little Terrier. But I like to think I carry myself like a Doberman.

CC: Ah, so there's a little guard dog inside just waiting to be tapped into?
Smudge: Yeah, you could say that. I mean, let's face it, it's not likely I could take down a grown man but I could do some damage from the buttocks down. And that would give my family a heads up and some time to protect themselves.

CC: Your family? You still call them that even though they're, um, leaving you behind?
Smudge: I'm not the type to carry a grudge, ya know. They're good people. We've been together for over two years and it's been great. I especially like the curly-haired kid, Nathan. Oh yeah, he lets me lick all over his face and stuff. He doesn't even wipe the dog slobber off.

CC: Good people, great kids...but you're dodging the issue. Why aren't you going with them? Why do you suddenly need a new home while they do "their thing?"
Smudge: Truth is, I've given this Haiti thing some thought and I have to say that I agree with them.

CC: Really? How so?
Smudge: Well, first there's the whole plane ride.

CC: And?
Smudge: Ok, a smart dog like you, you've been around and travelled the world...by the way, I loved that peice you did on the late great Rin-tin-tin. It was really touching. But anyway, I've never been on a plane and even with the "sleepy time cocktail" they can give you, I have no guarantees that I won't come out of there foaming at the mouth or chasing my own tail or something. You know, snapped, crazy even.

CC: That's a legitimate concern. Is there more?
Smudge: Sure. There's gonna be lots of people coming and going in Haiti. And that could be dangerous for a territorial dog like myself. I've gotten really good at recognizing the regulars around here but I get edgy when strangers get too close. I may not know who's a friend or foe, and suppose I take a snap at Donald or Arnold...I've heard those names but I don't know those guys. And we both know it would be all down hill from there.

CC: Sounds like you've really thought it through. But aren't you even going to miss them?
Smudge: Absolutely! Wrestling with the kids and the big guy, knowing they'll throw me a pillow to sleep on at night, the red-head who did most of my training -I got a lot of respect for her. She's the Alpha female. I'm gonna miss it all, yeah, I am. ahem, 'scuse me. I got a little something in my throat.

CC: You're smart, healthy, sensitive. Why hasn't another family snatched you up?
Smudge: Look at me. You're guess is as good as mine.

CC: Well, we wish you the best of luck, Smudge, and thanks again for sharing your story with our subscribers. Who knows? Maybe the perfect family is reading it right now.
Smudge: Could be, could be. But hey, either way, Callie, I'll give you my cell -off the record, and you call me sometime. We'll dig holes together.

CC: Lovely. Maybe some time when I haven't had a fresh grooming.