Tuesday, February 13, 2007

A Life in Review

This will be the last post for tonight.

My grandmother, Rachel Lewis, passed away on Saturday evening. She was suffering from cancer as well as heart disease and her health had deteriorated quickly over the last two months. I (nor my siblings) never had much of a relationship with Grandmother Rachel. She was an alcoholic as far back as I can remember and she spent most of her life destroying relationships because of her addiction. A trip to Grandmother's house was not the warm fuzzy feeling you often associate with "grandma". We didn't know what condition she would be in when we arrived or how long the visit would last before things got ugly. On one very vivid occasion, the family hadn't heard from her for several days and we went to check on her. We found her passed out in the backseat of her car, the doors wide open. I recall the fear in wondering if she was dead or simply drunk.

I don't tell you this to gain pity and certainly not out of bitterness or anger towards my Grandmother. In her last days, she wanted those whom she'd hurt to forgive her and I have. But because at some point, each of us may have opportunity to review our life as it nears an end, and I don't know about you, but I don't want my last moments spent making amends for relationships that I tore apart. I want to be surrounded by loved ones and friends who despite knowing my worst faults, know my heart and know how greatly they were valued.

My mom took several opportunities to ask Grandmother Rachel about her eternal destiny. And regardless of the past mistakes and a life lived selfishly, she believed in a Savior who loved her in her sinful state and died for her and I believe she is with Him now. I imagine that in the midst of her homecoming there may have been a moment in which she was given a glimpse of the many things she missed out on in this life...the joy of her great-grandchildren, family gatherings, the chance to be a Godly example to her three daughters. But if in some way God allows His departed children to see the on going journeys of us who remain, I would dare say that she has now become one of our greatest cheerleaders!

1st Thess. 4.13 "..do not grieve as those who have no hope."

3 comments:

Fran Harrington said...

Amie,

Thank you for the sharing mom's death with your friends. Even though I wish she had lived her life closer to Jesus, I am grateful that she used her last days to make amends and renew her faith in Jesus. God is good all the time, All the time God is good. He has certainly blessed Dad and I with 3 beautiful children and 10 of the most precious grandchildren. Though we are going to miss all of you greatly, we are praying that God will protect, guide, and comfort each of you during your time in Haiti.
Love Mom

Fran Harrington said...

Amie, Thank you so much for sharing mom's death with your friends. God has been so good to me during her sickness. Just being able to talk with her and know that she has renew her relationship with Christ and was ready to meet him has been the most comfort of all. It is so sad that her last 2 months of life will have the most meaning to me, but I thank God for that opportunity.

Love Mom

The Sexton Crew said...

Hey Mom. I know this comment thing can be tricky. I posted both of yours because I liked them both! I love you and Isabella can't wait to see you!